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| Kisses for baby sister |
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| Being silly with baby brother |
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| Ellery's first bath |
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| Rory's first bath |
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| Rory at 1 week |
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| Ellery at 1 week |
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| Rory on left and Ellery on right |
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| First walk with all the kids |
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| Ellery at 2 weeks |
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| Rory at 2 weeks |
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| Some rare sleeping time after nursing |
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| Babies everywhere! Better than any jewelry ;) |
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| Floor time with big brother Brooks |
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| First time at grocery store |
-The first few weeks (and months) were simply survival mode for our family. I honestly can't remember much about them and really don't care too. I'm not saying that because I don't feel blessed, but rather because the first 4 months of the twins life were the HARDEST thing I have ever done. I could not have gotten through those nights without Josh by my side. He was a rock star! He cooked, cleaned and got up with the babies along with me in the middle of the night. I felt as though we would never sleep again. My mom was also there every step of the way. She was over helping out in any way she could with the kids. We had support of our family and friends by bringing dinners and taking Brooks for a little while during the day. Josh's parents were in every month to help out in any way possible. Again...survival mode. I was not used to giving up control and not being able to do everything myself. I HAD to ask for help. The quote " I can do anything, but I can't do everything" was so true in my new life.
-The babies were gaining weight, but still not as quickly as they should. We had to wake Rory every 3 hours to feed him. We also still had to supplement him to get extra calories and Ellery as well to help with her jaundice. I was disappointed at first that I had to supplement so early on, but again...had to give up some of my pre-conceived ideas of how things were going to go. I did nurse them both (at same time!) for 4 months. At that time Ellery was the one not gaining enough weight and Rory got really sick (more to come later about that). I decided to stop nursing and go to straight bottles. I helped getting them on a schedule and life quickly got easier!
-From the start Rory was more of my laid back baby and Ellery had some fire inside of her. They both seemed to get very fussy when I had dairy, so I limited that when nursing them. Ellery struggled taking larger volumes from breast and bottle. Rory was so small and weak that he fell asleep while nursing. Therefore they were always hungry and fussy. Boy it was difficult. Once they both got on the bottle they started thriving! They gained great weight and seemed more content. Rory quickly surpassed Ellery and was the big one!
-At first Brooks was SO good and adjusted so well. He was so excited to have a brother AND sister! He gave lots of kisses and hugs. However, that quickly got boring and he was ready for them to do more. The twins needed all my attention and Brooks had trouble adjusting to that. He started to act out and the behavior started to be very challenging (and still is!). I felt so guilty giving so much time to the twins and just couldn't manage to find time for him too. I was being pulled in so many directions. I tried to make the time we did have count...but we were so limited with time. It was just so hard and I saw my little man slowly slipping away from me. Everyone told me it was only a phase and it will get better, but when you are stuck in the moment you can not see out of the tunnel. I saw no light and had trouble dealing with all my feelings. I realized I was dealing with some post pardum anxiety along with extreme hormone mood swings. It was double having twins. I just thank Josh, my family and friends for sticking by me during that challenging time in my life.
